Me: hey, what were you thinking when you decided to lie down on the bench with the baby on your chest?
Baby daddy: I was really tired. But I was holding the baby for you while you did...something else (cook dinner? clean up? laundry? pay the bills?). So I killed two birds with one stone.
Wow, Daddy, the world is so much more interesting from this perspective. I mean, I'd much rather stare at the wrinkles in your shirt than check out what's going on across the room. At least you're cracking up.
(This was the kind of move that induced terrible visions of what might happen if Daddy lost his grip, even just for a second. Those what if scenarios took at least 15 years off my life in just a few months.)
Hey, can you put the baby down for his nap? Yeah, just put him right on the edge of that sofa and then pass out yourself. Perfect.
(Actually, this one makes my heart ache with sweetness. (They all do, obvi.) I never, and I mean never, would have let myself relax this much with the little bitty guy. Boy, did I miss out.)