Me: hey, what were you thinking when you decided to lie down on the bench with the baby on your chest?
Baby daddy: I was really tired. But I was holding the baby for you while you did...something else (cook dinner? clean up? laundry? pay the bills?). So I killed two birds with one stone.
Me: Why not the bed?
Baby daddy: Because we fit there.
I guess I can't argue with that.